Black Phone was a pretty good horror suspense/thriller type of movie, but boy oh boy, Black Phone 2 here completely shit the bed. If there was ever an excuse for a cash grab, this would be it. After having watched the sequel, I’m wondering why this was even needed. What could this movie bring to the table that could possibly outdo the first one or expand on it in a meaningful way? The answers I ultimately came up with are no, and jack shit, respectively.

So here in the sequel, we have The Grabber somehow being able to navigate his way inside Gwen’s dreams. It’s been years since they were kidnapped, and obviously, Gwen and her brother Finny just want to lead normal lives as teenagers. But ohhh noo…not that simple, kiddies. Because the big bad Grabber is out to get you from beyond the grave, literally. I was basically laughing my ass off, but the two-hour runtime sobered me up pretty quickly. IIRC, Black Phone had some spiritual elements to it with the whole phone thing and whatnot, but they kicked it up a whole lot in the sequel. Like seriously, entering in someone’s dream and being able to physically not just harm her but also be able to alter and interact with the physical world and the other people in it? Seriously? But I mean, I guess how else would The Grabber be able to come back into the story if not as a spirit/demon? It just felt very cheesy when compared to the first. And that’s why I felt this sequel was just unnecessary.

This must have been Ethan Hawke’s easiest check to cash, ever. Was he seriously in this movie at all, or did they just pay him to be able to use his name on the movie poster to attract viewers? Did he just lend his voice to the project? From my viewing, he likely appeared in the movie once or twice, and those were scenes that were modified with CGI because, you know, the whole demon/Freddy Krueger thing and all. The rest of the movie, they could have just used any dude to portray The Grabber since he’s always behind a mask. Yeah, obviously I joke, but it seriously crossed my mind. Regardless, Black Phone 2 is bad, really bad. There were some tidbits of reveal that I guess expand on some things, such as Gwen and Finney’s mom and whatnot, but these scenes felt so hollow and, again, pointless because the movie and sequel as a whole are just so completely underwhelming. Please do not make Black Phone 3. I really, really do not want to see The Grabber’s spirit somehow get reincarnated, possess a kiddie kidnapper, and start this whole show again where Gwen and Finney, now in adulthood and played by new people, are the only ones able to save the kids. Oh dear God, please don’t do this.